I’ve been off the radar for a while. One thing led to another, I made a decision, some things fell into place, other things fell by the wayside.
Truth be told: I wanted some things – even some people – out of my life.
Now, I’m back. For better or worse, I believe in … me, again. It’s unnerving to lose yourself. I did, for a long time (partly because I wanted to, mostly because I had to).
Thing is, too often I allowed other people (my bosses) to dictate circumstances. I understood why they wanted to do A, B, C but I knew those marching orders were crap.
I understand data, analytics, SEO, KPI, and the rest of the alphabet soup that goes into being led around by your MBA. … I just don’t believe in running a content business on a spreadsheet.
So, I quit. … Literally, I walked because my boss was (still is, I presume) an asshole of the highest order. We just had philosophical differences: He wanted his ass kissed. I refused to pucker-up.
Yes, I had reached the point in my career where I could do my boss’s job but he could not do mine, did not understand mine (and he did not care to know what he did not know).
The respectful thing to do was resign. So, I did. I was a cog in the wheel. My position was filled before I left the parking garage on my last day.
The disrespectful thing was the b.s. ass-covering. There was a story told to “why” I was leaving – but it was steeped in more horseshit than the stables at Churchill Downs.
Fact: I lost respect for my boss, his bosses, and the company. As a result, I could not take the money every two weeks with a clear conscience.
Thing is, I made the decision. I was not laid off. I did not lose my job in “a numbers game.” I chose to leave – and that made all the difference in my thinking.
Now, if it goes south – I screwed up. But when it takes off, that will be the result of a team effort. And I like my new team.
It’s been three years since I left Corporate America. I miss some of the people, the daily interactions, the group gatherings to graze at a new joint. … But I do not miss management; lying comes too easily in the C-suite.
After that, I went here, tried this, wandered over there, tried that. Basically, I took a walkabout to see if I still believed in me.
So, here I am. Miles from where I left. But home, finally.
And I’ve taken some time to gather my thoughts. I realized it was me, my “voice” that people gravitated to, learned to trust, responded to. People connected with me, not the entity I worked for.
These will be my words – unvarnished, as you’d expect. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Robert Frost wrote, Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.